Montana Life

 

September 12, 2022

Well, my life plans turned up on their heads during Covid. I had planned to work at Stampin' Up! until I dropped...maybe until I was 70 or so. But my job outgrew me and I just wasn't up to learning a new job or going back to the call center. Plus my house and especially my yard was more than I could handle. On top of that I felt the need to move close to my daughter's family with my two youngest grandchildren. So, I retired at 66 and stayed with my son and his fiancé for 1-1/2 years and now I'm in Montana. 

My son-in-law bought part of his family farm in the Mission Valley in Montana. These are the mountains I get to see every morning. We have a calf, 2 dogs, multiple cats, chickens, sheep and one lose rabbit from previous owner. In the last week we have also been visited by a bear, a mountain lion with her cub..,oh my! 

There is always  something to do. I'm so tired of sorting stuff. I moved from a two bedroom house to a tiny house. There are boxes and boxes to sort. I have probably gotten two thirds of the way through. 

Another big thing is working on relationships. I am again immersed in people relationships. I thought I was pretty saintly when I lived alone for 10 years. Haha. Oh was I wrong. Well, I believe we are here to work on ourselves and learn to love our fellowman. I have come a far way but know I still have quite a ways to go. 

Growing

 

I believe people that really know me know that I believe in Christ. I have always tried to do what I felt was right, what the spirit was prompting me to do. I have not always gotten it right. I've occasionally been misled, acted impulsively, had a hard heart or a lazy attitude. At times I have disappointed family and friends.

God says we need to come to him with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I feel so now. It is painful to face our errors, mistakes, character flaws and weaknesses. But we cannot progress unless we humble ourselves and learn to do God's will. In helping me today my daughter said that when I fall I always get up. That was a wonderful compliment as I feel I have fallen so many times. 

One must be careful not to allow despair when one faces their flaws. That would be Satan's plan. Christ wants us to suffer only to where it causes us to repent. 

Today I learned that I still worry about what others think of me. I've let go of so much of that but there still seem to be spaces that it seeps in. I am grateful for a loving God that gently teaches me what I need to do to be a better person. It is difficult but it is the only way I can live. I have been taught again today that I need to lose myself (in other words stop looking in at my insecurities) and look out to see how I can help others.

Christ took on not only our sins, but all our pains, temptations and illnesses. He is the only one that can truly judge us. He is the only one that fully understands if we are doing the best we can.