The Games People Play

Yes friends and family it has been quite some time since I've written. It's been a year since I started this journey of healing and growth. It annoys me that I'm not 100% yet. Hmmm. Perhaps I never will be...at least in this life.

I have learned so much this year. A friend calls this earth school. I think that is appropriate. I feel so blessed to be learning so much in a time when I can appreciate it. The other morning I said to Heavenly Father, "I feel like I'm drinking from a firehose. Could things slow down for just a bit so I can process some of what I'm learning?"

My goal in life for the last several years has been to help others find hope. Why? Because I spent so much of my life without it. I allowed excessive guilt to be a stumbling block. Another stumbling block: I read this on a friends book: "Pleasing people has a twin sister - resentment." I've spent a great deal of time trying to please people. No wonder I have buried hostility. You can't make other people happy. They have to make themselves happy. But it's a hard habit to break.

We all have something to overcome, to cope with. The people I respect the most are the people who face their stuff. Who own that they are human and have weaknesses. I respect anyone that truly tries to overcome their shortcomings.

Control, denial, and playing the victim are all games people play or another way to put it is coping mechanisms people have developed to protect themselves from pain. The first time I understood coping mechanisms was when I heard this story: An alcoholic man has three sons. They hear him coming home drunk. One son dives under his bed to hide. Another son runs to get dad's slippers and paper (the pleaser). The third son meets dad at the front door with his fists up (the fighter). All of these boys have found a way to cope with their father's cruelty. And unless they learn another way they will likely take these coping mechanisms into adulthood.

Those that know me realize I hate to end on a negative. So here is my positive summation. We are living in a time where help, truth and knowledge are all around us. If we pray and ponder we will find anwers in amazing places. I know I have.

I chose this picture because the ocean brings me peace and reminds me of the magnitude of God. He is in charge and He will help us if we ask. Often the answers or rather the change we desire does not happen as quickly as we would like, but it will come. I promise.