A Prayer

I have not written for several days because someone I love is suffering. It is too personal to speak of here but my heart aches for him and for his family.

Over the weekend as I pondered and prayed I was once again led to the website hubblesite.org. This is where I retrieved the photo for this blog.

There are many things that witness to me of God: magestic mountains, the endless ocean, mighty forests and the birth of a child. Now I can add space to that list.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I know scientists have explanations for all that we see. And why shouldn't they? Doesn't God work through scientific means to bring about his purposes? I cannot stand on the beach or view these breathtaking images without knowing the hand that created them.

And how do I know? I know from a lifetime of struggle and heartache, from moments of utter despair when I felt his comfort inexplicably surround me. I know from reading His words. I know from the peace I can feel in my heart. I know from the hundreds of times I have asked for help and received it whether from a the written word, a song, from someone reaching out to me, and from a bit of truth received in a time of need.

Twenty five years ago my four day old son Jeremy died after surgery for a heart problem. As I held off grief because I thought I had to live my testimony of God and a life after death by being stoic and strong. A year after he died I had what they then called a nervous breakdown. I began acting out of character and in a short while became filled with dibilitating anxiety. It became so bad I had to send my three children to stay with their grandparents for a time. It was a terrible year of pain, fear and suffering. It took a year and help from loving people for me to become fully functional again.

As with the Alcoholics Anonymous creed I had to walk hour by hour calling upon God for help. I had my own mantra that I would repeat over and over in my head:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;

but of power,

and of love,

and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

For any who may be struggling please know truth is out there. It comes from many sources and will come to you in many ways if you seek it with even an inkling of faith. It may come to you slowly, bit by bit, but as you open yourself you will begin to see it everywhere. I believe God talks to us in the language we understand. So while I am Christian and hold everything up to that light I also find truth in surprising places: TV shows, secular and not secular books and magazines, people of all persuasions and backgrounds.


This past year I have worked through a separation soon to be a divorce. I've wept, pondered, reached out for help from so many places and people, and finally found peace. While I know life will still hold challenges I feel my feet are once again on solid ground. I feel centered and when a new piece of real truth comes to me I feel it as if someone hit a tuning fork that hums with a resonance that I can feel. Heart and mind, feelings and thoughts, God speaks to us.